barbara blacksheep:
I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to
https://twitter.com/blacksheep_barb
me when i am mildly inconvenienced:thIS IS THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME
me when i am legitimately hurt/distressed:no no it's fine i've had worse
Notes
280613
Posted
3 months ago

Happy Christmas Eve Eve.

(Source: transponsters, via thestrayline)

Notes
187463
Posted
3 months ago
someone:So what are you getting for christmas?
me:fatter
Notes
147311
Posted
3 months ago

Today my dad was singing Christmas carols in the kitchen

Dad:He knows how long you sleep in
Dad:He knows that you've been baked
Dad:He knows you spend all day online so you better hope your grandma gets you something nice because Santa is done with your shit
Notes
119370
Posted
3 months ago

whorecrux-harry:

"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills

(Source: ruinmarks, via zackisontumblr)

Notes
182835
Posted
4 months ago

(Source: weloveshortvideos, via g-iggle)

Notes
270996
Posted
4 months ago

worths:

ouch i hurt my lips can you kiss them for me

(via g-iggle)

Notes
140235
Posted
4 months ago
caracalaurata:

catbuttcat:

rainabove:

"SKAKJSKJDKS AJSJJSAHJDASJHS"

GOD DAMN IT EVERY TIME THIS IS ON MY DASH I NEARLY THROW UP LAUGHING

I didn’t find this that funny until I realized that was somebody’s foot.

caracalaurata:

catbuttcat:

rainabove:

"SKAKJSKJDKS AJSJJSAHJDASJHS"

GOD DAMN IT EVERY TIME THIS IS ON MY DASH I NEARLY THROW UP LAUGHING

I didn’t find this that funny until I realized that was somebody’s foot.

(Source: aurorawh0realis, via pooka-loop)

Notes
408978
Posted
4 months ago
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